Stop Harassing Brian Williams!


Listen, people. Everyone needs to stop harassing Brian Williams. Here is a man with a stellar background, impeccable professionalism and a resume that would put to shame all would-be journalists. How dare you all question the integrity of this man? We need to remember this man’s stellar achievements in journalism history. For instance…

Live One on One with Noah: As the rain was really coming down, only Brian Williams was able to sit down and do a hard-hitting interview about Noah’s fascination with animal feces, the number two, and why we make the connection between the two in the modern age.

Personal Bodyguard of Austria’s Archduke Franz Ferdinand: Okay, granted it didn’t turn out that well, but while Mr. Williams was tasked with doing a story about bodyguards, Williams decided that he lacked the first-hand knowledge required to make the story work. Though his fateful decision to direct the car in which the Archduke was riding to head down that alley ultimately resulted in Ferdinand’s assassination, Brian Williams learned a lot, and was able to do a great story.

Hitler’s Mistress: When Life Magazine wanted an expose on Adolph Hitler right before WWII began, they went to Brian Williams with the task. Not only did Williams do extensive research, but he also served as Hitler’s mistress before Eva Braun showed up. Granted Williams joke about invading Poland ultimately led to Hitler doing just that, the overall body of work demonstrated Williams’ grasp of Hitler the Artist.

Apollo 13 Cryo Stirrer Extraordinaire: Little did many people know that Brian Williams was the fourth crew member aboard Apollo 13, accompanying Fred Haise, Jack Swigert, and Jim Lovell in their ill-fated attempt to land on the moon. NASA allowed him to join the crew so Williams could provide a deeply needed boost to the space program’s popularity. Brian’s only job on board was to stir the hydrogen tanks to keep alarms from going off. Yes, the cryo stir caused the massive explosion that led to the events of their rescue, but Brian Williams’ intense interview with Jim Lovell was riveting…especially the part where Lovell admitted to having a teddy bear named Snuggles. Brilliant!

Everyone needs to pump the brakes in their criticism of Brian Williams. The above experiences, which are no means a complete list, demonstrate just how much Brian Williams has been with us throughout history.

So simmer down, people!



Published by Alan Reese

Greetings blog wanderers and seekers of truth, or whatever truth appears to be from the mind of a warped individual. You have reached the inner sanctum of some guy named Alan. Having graduated college sometime shortly after the Earth cooled, he finds himself in his late 30's and working out in the real world. His humor is dry and his outlook not so serious and somehow has picked up the nasty habit of writing about himself in the third person. He is married with child and loves his family, sports and, of course, his beloved video games...likelihood of his growing up? Not good. Are you an established site or magazine looking for a writer? Drop me a line if you are interested.

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