Annoying Commercials

No! I can’t hear it again…not one more time! (Courtesy:

Have you ever seen or heard a commercial that makes you swear that the world would end the next time you see or hear it? Sure, we all do. Maybe it’s a sappy commercial for instant coffee that involves a college kid coming home for Christmas break. Perhaps it’s a car commercial where professional athletes are trying to rap about an assumption that one’s occupation is one’s credit for use to purchase a vehicle. Regardless of what it might be, it is definitely annoying.

For me, here in the Washington DC/Northern Virginia area, it has to be a radio commercial heard early in the mornings while I’m getting ready for work. It’s a touching yarn about a young lady named Nikki Baker who had the deck stacked against her. Then she decided to have a child and she’s trying to hold down two jobs to provide for her and her financial dependent. She’s having a rough time of it, poor girl.

But lo and behold, there is AN ANSWER! If she only applies herself and earns a GED (which stands for General Educational Development) diploma, all of her problems will be instantly solved. Sure, okay, I’ll go ahead and suspend my disbelief that a fake high school diploma will allow her to access all of her dream jobs and be able to scoff at all of those without a GED.

I swear the radio station plays that darn commercial just to annoy me. I can tell just how bad my day is going to be by the number of times I hear “Nikki Baker, come down and receive your GED Diploma.” Its infuriating, I tells ya!

But all is not lost: there is a commercial that soothes the savage beast that is lil ‘ol me, and I can tell how great a day I’m going to have by the number of times I hear it. It’s a commercial about some pirate that is cleaning up the ocean…I think. I’m not really sure as the only thing I listen for is the part where he is announcing the website for which group he’s representing. He can say Whateverthewebsiteis.ORG…see, he’s a pirate, so it comes out as Whateverthewebsiteis.AAAARRRRRGGGHHHH…so funny. Brings tears to me eyes.

What about you? What commercials make you want to wretch and which ones make you wail?

Published by Alan Reese

Greetings blog wanderers and seekers of truth, or whatever truth appears to be from the mind of a warped individual. You have reached the inner sanctum of some guy named Alan. Having graduated college sometime shortly after the Earth cooled, he finds himself in his late 30's and working out in the real world. His humor is dry and his outlook not so serious and somehow has picked up the nasty habit of writing about himself in the third person. He is married with child and loves his family, sports and, of course, his beloved video games...likelihood of his growing up? Not good. Are you an established site or magazine looking for a writer? Drop me a line if you are interested.

One thought on “Annoying Commercials

  1. I agree with you on the Nikki Baker ad, especailly “She’d take MY prep classes” and the “Come down and get your GED diploma” (I’ve never seen a graduation ceremony where people were called down individually, and “GED diploma” is redundant), but I also hate the pirate ad you love. “I’ve sailed the Seven Seas a HUNDRED times!” No, pirate, you haven’t.

    I live in DC/NoVA too, and I work nights, so I have to hear the same ads over and over. The “If you’re a veteran of Iraq or Afghanistan, like me…” followed by a bunch of people speaking in unison is really annoying. The “When I have an asthma attack, I feel scared” ad full of kids saying stupid stuff that kids couldn’t possibly understand (“I feel like a fish with no water,” “It’s like there’s an elephant on my chest,” etc.) is worse. But there’s no radio ad worse than the “Yo, Drew, I finally got round MVP. ROUND MVP!” and the “Scratching up my first school dance takes confidence” ads by the people who tell you that if you have good skills at video games or break dancing you also have what it takes to get into college.

    In short, late night radio doesn’t have a single tolerable ad. And when those ads go away, it’s Kars 4 Kids. I can’t stand any of them, and it’s because of those ads that I’ve stopped listening to sports talk radio at work and have turned to Spotify.


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