Major injury news this weekend, fellow Birubegjans, Your beloved El Presidente suffered through a traumatic injury. No, it wasn’t another assassination attempt. The last one nearly succeeded by the way, you clever assassin, substituting a Hershey bar with a whole lot of Ex-Lax. Oh, in other news, this year’s El Presidente Pants Donation is going to have to be rescheduled due to unforeseen complications.
No, this injury was to my left thumb. Having tried to empty the dishwasher, I accidentally grabbed the twirly blade thingy part of our blender that was being washed. While the injury was later deemed as non-life threatening, it did due some damage to his steering hand on his Xbox controller. How bad? This lack of functionality sadly made him lose his video game life on Zoo Tycoon, which was tough to do considering it is a game in which you literally cannot die.
Your cards and letters have been most appreciated, along with the establishing of the Left Hand Foundation, which was later closed after some unpleasantness with the Randy Rightey’s of Rochester, an organization dedicated to the elimination of all things Lefty.
So, my fellow Birubegjans, what was the most embarrassing injury you’ve ever experienced?