Spandex Regulation from El Presidente!

BGOBGAI! Quickie:

Being your beloved El Presidente here on Birubegja is not always Pina Coladas and exotic inhalation products. No, sometimes I must put forth rules and today I must, to my dismay, put forth the following proclamation…

Henceforth, all those wishing to wear Spandex of any kind shall have to fill out a permit application and go through a rigorous examination by a panel of clothing judges.  Applicant must demonstrate knowledge that circus mirrors are not standard mirrors and must also attend a lecture series entitled Spandex and Society: Good Seams Make Good Neighbors.

Males are expressly forbidden from wearing any form of Spandex.  The only exception to this rule is that of the Male Runner or Male Jogger Exemption.  Note that those wishing to file for these exemptions must provide proof of enrollment in Birubegja’s HAGBM Program. For those not familiar with this program, the full title is the Hungry and Angry Grizzly Bear Motivational Program.  Register now all you joggers out there. New spots open daily.

Photo courtesy of


Now my question of the day to you, my beloved citizens, is whether those that buy spandex are truly able to wear them.  What do you think? Please leave a comment because your El Presidente needs it to make a knowledgeable decision.

That’s it for today, my wonderful Birubegja citizenry. Until I hear from you again, this is your El Presidente saying Be Good or Be Good At It!

Published by Alan Reese

Greetings blog wanderers and seekers of truth, or whatever truth appears to be from the mind of a warped individual. You have reached the inner sanctum of some guy named Alan. Having graduated college sometime shortly after the Earth cooled, he finds himself in his late 30's and working out in the real world. His humor is dry and his outlook not so serious and somehow has picked up the nasty habit of writing about himself in the third person. He is married with child and loves his family, sports and, of course, his beloved video games...likelihood of his growing up? Not good. Are you an established site or magazine looking for a writer? Drop me a line if you are interested.

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