Okay, I am absolutely thrilled to have football back (and no, I’m not talking about soccer…I’m talking about American Football) and I don’t want to appear to be complaining too much this early in the season.
Here I am watching a great play unfold and I see a penalty flag thrown by a referee. But the play is allowed to continue. My team scores and the place erupts in applause and joyous celebration. Yet I know. The play is coming back on penalty. All my joy dissipates and I question the existence of a benevolent god.
So, how about we spare me the crippling blow to my excitement? How about the moment a flag is flown a warning appears on my screen. I’ll need it to say ‘I’m sorry, Alan, but please ignore this great play as you are going to be vastly disappointed in the outcome. Would you like a cookie?”
Please, Roger Goodell, please make my Sundays more conducive to enjoyment. Give me the Penalty Prophylactic!