I think I ruined a fly’s life. There, I said it. I could not live with the guilt associated with my deeds and now I have put it out in the open. I am ashamed, oh so ashamed, but I can no longer deny it. I’ve ruined an innocent fly’s life.
It all started innocently enough. I was returning to my home after an extended hotel stay. I was tired. I was irritable (well, more so than usual), and I knew I had to unpack. So I threw open my suitcase and a lone housefly flew out of now-open suitcase. Naturally I shooed the pest away and went about my business unpacking my essentials (underwear, bourbon, teddy bear, Superman underoos, etc) and sat down to relax.
It was then that the fly flew past my television and I starting to think, not a common occurrence, I assure you. I have completely removed this fly from his home and family. The average housefly lives only about a month so could this creature whose whole life I have completely turned upside down, possibly fly a couple of hundred miles to return to his home and loved ones? Should he forsake his family and try to find a new fly to settle down with and raise little maggots together? Does he have time? What if this fly was a fly scientist and was working on closing the evolutionary gap between humans and flies?
Now here I sit, possibly responsible for forever ending human and fly collaboration and cooperation in our next step of evolution before it even starts. No, I can’t let that happen. I must aid this fly in getting back to finish his work. I know what I’ll do. I’ll capture the fly, put him in a fly-safe container, put it in the car and drive him all the way back from where he came. Then I can release him and he can continue what destiny has determined is the fate of this brave insect.
I see that he keeps circling the television, obviously studying the technology no doubt. Brilliant fly. Brilliant indeed. I throw together a few things and create a makeshift container out of a soda can and put some very small holes in it so the symbol of our continual evolution can have a safe journey home. I’m now at a frantic pace in getting the perfect vessel that shall provide temporary safety to the fly so we can begin the journey to his home. Something irritates the hair on my right harm. SLAP!!! goes my left hand to the irritant.
Be Good or Be Good At It! i’m so ashamed.
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