BGOBGAI Special: USA Soccer


Well, it’s over. The US soccer team has been defeated and eliminated from the rest of the World Cup proceedings. It was a thrilling game out there on the pitch (see what I did there? I used a soccer word. I’m so impressed with myself now), but the US team could not mount any sort of offense. I have heard from the Vatican this morning that the deification of the US goalie, Tim Howard, began in earnest and we can expect an official announcement from the Pope shortly. Besides that, however, I’m afraid it is time for soccer to fade away in the United States for the next four years.

soccer2              Now, now, kiddies, it’s okay. It’ll be back, just like Frosty the Snowman, Cicadas, and the McRib, soccer in the US is more of a “once in a blue moon” sort of sport. Like the Olympics, the participants of soccer will train hard and work to be the best they can be and show everyone how great they are… in four years. Yes, I know there is some sort of professional soccer league in the US, and I know they draw tens of people to their games, but as a whole it doesn’t reach the level of social consciousness that any other sport does in the US until it’s time to defend the nation’s honor.

soccer3              Don’t get me wrong everyone, I was just as thrilled as everyone else to be watching the spectacle that was the World Cup. I actually enjoyed watching it and required no adult beverages to enjoy the games. I just know how the US people are. We lost so we are going to take our ball and go home. Childish perhaps, but that’s who we are, and we don’t care what other countries think. I’m not saying that is a good thing, not by a stretch, I’m just wearing my sociological hat and observing current conditions.

soccer4             There is a bright side for all the soccer fans in America, however. Unlike the Priazzo, McDLT, Jarts, NERDS Blizzards, the XFL, and the WNBA, soccer will return. It’s just on hiatus. Plus, millions and millions of dollars will be spent by cities to build new soccer stadiums and fully employ teams and their megacorporate needs solely on the fact that the ratings for the World Cup were huge in the US when the US team was competing. Massive ad campaigns will be funded to ensure that the fan base of soccer will expand to never-before-seen heights based on the ratings of the World Cup. And I personally applaud these efforts. The efforts won’t result in success, but it’ll be fun to hear and watch all the catchy jingles and ads that will flood our DVR based society (which means no one will see them) and all the analysts trying to explain why the efforts ultimately fail.

soccer5              So, despite soccer interest in the US being sent into hibernation, I salute the US soccer team. You all worked hard and made cynical US citizens believe in the greatness your beautiful game and we enjoyed every minute of it. We are truly proud of you. You showed all of us that if we shared your work ethic and belief in each other, we could all …

Be Good AND Be Good At It!

P.S. I’ve just been informed that the WNBA still exists. Oops.

What do you think?


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Published by Alan Reese

Greetings blog wanderers and seekers of truth, or whatever truth appears to be from the mind of a warped individual. You have reached the inner sanctum of some guy named Alan. Having graduated college sometime shortly after the Earth cooled, he finds himself in his late 30's and working out in the real world. His humor is dry and his outlook not so serious and somehow has picked up the nasty habit of writing about himself in the third person. He is married with child and loves his family, sports and, of course, his beloved video games...likelihood of his growing up? Not good. Are you an established site or magazine looking for a writer? Drop me a line if you are interested.

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