Indiana Jones Obsessed?

Indy1              Obsession is an interesting phenomena. While normally partnered with its good friend Compulsive, obsession can create an interesting, if not ultimately harmful, range of actions. Nowhere in modern cinematic history is there a case of obsession run amok than that of Indiana Jones and his obsession with now-deceased stuntman, Pat Roach.

Sure, Fatal Attraction had Glenn Close going crazy and cooking a bunny rabbit in such a way that inspired most of the crazy food shows now on the Food Network, but it was only one movie. Indiana Jones, on the other hand, took obsession to a multi-movie pilgrimage for Pat Roach’s death. Not only would it not satisfy Jones to kill Roach once, rather Jones had to go after and kill him time after time and in increasingly grotesque manners.

indy2              It all started when Mr. Roach was having a few drinks with Marion Ravenwood in Nepal. He’s just hanging around drinking, maybe singing some Nepalese bar songs, when in the bar comes Indiana Jones. He starts shooting up the place, burns a little Nazi fella and gets Mr. Roach killed by gunfire. Totally uncalled for.


indy3              Next, Roach is out in the desert and is seen trying to get a tan while guarding a plane. Along comes Indy and not only gets the plan destroyed but chops Pat Roach into bits for good measure. Now, his character’s dismemberment bothers Pat quite a bit, so he gets obsessed with righting this wrong, and why should he not be obsessed? Jones has interrupted his life twice already and in mean and deadly ways.

indy4              Skip forward to Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Mr. Roach’s life had taken a negative turn. Having confused the job application as being “Child Caretaker” rather than the actual position of “Child Torturer,” Roach is already regretting his lot in life. Day after day, he must whip children into mining gems or gold or something. He dreams of moving onto a better life, with a great deal less of child beating, when yep, you guessed it…here’s Indiana Jones. He makes a heroic entrance into the mines, dates the director’s wife and gets into a fight with Pat Roach. Naturally, it doesn’t go well for Roach. He’s had no time to prepare and he’s tired from all the whipping he did that morning. Well, push comes to shove and there goes Indiana Jones, pushing Roach into the rock crusher and he dies a gruesome death…again.

indy5              Finally, the one that killed him. Broken-hearted and thrice killed, Roach took a job as a Blimp-inspector in Germany during the rise of the Nazi’s. Pat Roach couldn’t get any real work as there aren’t many openings for a person who’s been killed several times, so he had no choice but to work for the Nazi’s, the most evil empire ever to be devised, outside of door to door solicitors. But there he is, using the toilet in the blimp when Indiana Jones opens the door and beats him up. For no reason? It wasn’t even filmed!

Ultimately, Pat Roach just gave up and eventually passed away. Do we read of his exploits? Do we sing songs of his accomplishments? No, all we hear about is Indiana Jones and all the expensive props he finds all over the world. No one remembers Jones’ for his quest to destroy Roach’s life. Oh No! Not our beloved Indiana Jones. The motto of this story boys and girls is life is not fair and if anyone ever approaches you with a bullwhip and a catchy theme song, run, do not walk, to the nearest exit and flee. Or at least you can try to…


Be Good or Be Good At It!

Published by Alan Reese

Greetings blog wanderers and seekers of truth, or whatever truth appears to be from the mind of a warped individual. You have reached the inner sanctum of some guy named Alan. Having graduated college sometime shortly after the Earth cooled, he finds himself in his late 30's and working out in the real world. His humor is dry and his outlook not so serious and somehow has picked up the nasty habit of writing about himself in the third person. He is married with child and loves his family, sports and, of course, his beloved video games...likelihood of his growing up? Not good. Are you an established site or magazine looking for a writer? Drop me a line if you are interested.

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